As I mentioned a few weeks ago, XX1 had her Bat Mitzvah recently. It was great to be surrounded for a weekend by almost all the people we care about. And XX1 really stepped up and made us very proud. There are few things more gratifying than seeing your child excel – especially on a big stage in front of a lot of people. Part of the ceremony is a blessing from the parents. Some parents provide an actual blessing. Others tell entertaining stories about the child. I chose to give her some life perspective by distilling what I have learned over the past four decades down into a fairly simple concept. I understand she probably won’t get it for a while, but I’m okay with that. So here goes:
I have no doubt you will move with grace to adulthood. In preparation for that transformation, let me share with you what I’ve discovered over the past 45 years. In fact, I believe it’s the secret to life. The secret to life? Wow. I know, it seems kind of deep. So here goes. The secret to life is to LIVE RIGHT NOW. I know it seems kind of underwhelming, but hear me out. Once I explain it a bit, maybe LIVE RIGHT NOW will make sense.
You can choose to live in the future. Chasing dreams and aspirations and goals and life plans. You are so busy striving for what you don’t have, you never get around to appreciating what you do have. You’ll need to trust me on that. That doesn’t mean you can’t think to the future… but think to the future not in fear and worry, but in hope and grace. Realize you make the vision of your life a reality based on how you live right now.
You could choose to live in the past. We need to be respectful of history, and learn the lessons of those that came before us. But don’t be limited by the past. Learn from your own experiences, especially the challenging ones – then let them go. You have the power to create your own future. A future where you can achieve whatever you set your mind to and become absolutely anything you choose. Never forget that who you ARE doesn’t depend on who you WERE. You can and should be reinventing yourself as you move through life. Don’t let anything or anyone define you. Let your actions right now, in this moment, represent who you are and who you will become.
Steve Jobs said it much more elegantly in his awesome Stanford Commencement address, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”
Understanding this secret doesn’t make it easy. Being yourself, loving yourself, and surrounding yourself with people who appreciate and love YOU for who YOU ARE is very difficult. You’ll face many challenges, make countless tough decisions and you’ll screw things up. That’s all part of this game we call life. Just be true to yourself and everything will be OK. I promise.
Always remember your Mom and I will be there to support you – celebrating your accomplishments and helping you rebound from your setbacks. Most of all know that we love you, unconditionally and without bounds.
I wanted to finish the speech with a Seinfeld quote, but “NO SOUP FOR YOU!” didn’t seem to fit. Instead I chose a passage from Seinfeld’s book that my father sent to me many years ago when I lost sight of what was important.
“Life is truly a ride. We’re all strapped in and no one can stop it. As you make each passage from youth to adulthood to maturity, sometimes you put your arms up and scream, sometimes you just hang on to that bar in front of you. But the ride is the thing. I think the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair’s messed, you’re out of breath, and you didn’t throw up.”
Strap in girlfriend, it’s a wild ride.
–Mike
We are back at work on a variety of blog series, so here is a list of the research currently underway. Remember you can get our Heavy Feed via RSS, where you can get all our content in its unabridged glory. And you can get all our research papers too.
healthcare.gov. – RM